Category Archives: nonFiction

How I Dance with My Depression

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” Mark Twain

Depression Lies.

I first heard this through Wil Wheaton via his blog, who in turn borrowed it from the Bloggess/Jenny Lawson.

Depression DOES lie, but that is a simplification, Depression also cheats, it exaggerates, it can twist your thoughts and feelings around to serve its own dark ends (as Wheaton succinctly puts it, “Depression is a Dick”).  It can raise doubts in your head on a perfectly normal, even great day which will cause your perception of the world to come crashing down around you.

It can get to anyone.  With the current news cycle that just keeps spinning and spinning it can even get to those that have not been diagnosed with a Manic Depression (like I have) or Bipolar Disorder.

To describe the mania of the “Manic” real quick, for those who might not know.  It is like being in a world, to borrow a Spinal Tap reference that “has been turned up to eleven” everything is brighter, louder, your ambition and confidence lights up (on the positive upswings) and the negativity and doubts blacken your perspectives (on the downswings).  It’s my understanding that those diagnosed with bi-polar get the mania amplified yet again, pushing the depression and the mania to more extreme territories.

Something that I have been asked a lot lately from people I am just getting to know, or friendships I am rekindling after being away in my own self-imposed hermitage for several years.  How do you fight depression?  What makes it better?  If you are down and depressed, or with a down and depressed person, what steps can you take to improve things?

Fighting is not the point, the Depression and the Mania are ingrained within your personality.  The notion of fighting it is nigh impossible, on good days we co-exist.  On the best days, the trinity of mania-depression-personality become dance partners, one motion and action supporting and bouncing off another in a neutral to positive manner. Continue reading How I Dance with My Depression


Film Review: X-men Apocalypse

X-Men Apocalypse Review

2 out of 5 stars

Full disclosure: I have seen all the X-men movies, most of them multiple times, so there is an implied sense of comparison here.

Launching from the previous film in the series, X-man: Days of Future Past, this one proudly exclaims everything is new again, which the filmmakers appear to take as license to revisit old scenarios, set-ups, right down to specific lines of dialogue that were delivered before in previous X-men movies.  Mutant cage-match fight, check. New kid in school who has trouble with power control, double check.  Pawns swayed into following a powerful new leader, triple check.  Quirky mannerisms, costumes and set dressing of another era, check.  The “us (strong, next evolutionary step, mutants) versus them (confused, fearful, lost, humans)” conversation, check.  Scenes of mass destruction, check.  The cute/fun appearance of Quicksilver to cheekily save the day, check.  Alkali Lake facility, Stryker, Wolverine cameo … check check check. “Time to fight” speech, check. “I am not a hero” speech, check.  Destruction of Xavier’s school, check. Continue reading Film Review: X-men Apocalypse

Dream Journaling 101

I have cinematic dreams.

People that I have spoken to about them often encourage me to write them down or “you should do something with that.”  Sometimes these dreams make themselves into the fiction I write or they end up in the dream journal.  My conscious mind writes things out in a particular way and tends to go back to the same words and descriptions and situations and dialogue.  Dreams do not work the same way, it is a great way to collect new ideas and perspectives.

For those who have asked, or who are interested, I am sharing my process, here is how it works. Continue reading Dream Journaling 101