I am still here.
I am still breathing, as hard as it may be sometimes. I have cold onset asthma. To live in Iowa in the winter means my lungs go into spasm and I stop breathing when I step outside.
There are steps I can take to try and combat this…
…but it is ultimately a losing battle. Breathing through the bandana is nearly just as hard on my already taxed lungs as breathing the cold air outright. The ears are supposed to suggest that I have a sense of dying in the sub-zero temperatures. Whether or not they do their job, I am unsure, as it is tough to gauge people’s reactions when my head is down, trying hard to notice where the black ice is as the dark spots on the edge of my vision get darker and darker as the air gets less and less.
I am still looking for work, which has eclipsed a lot of what I was developing this blog for, ironically.
Right now I have a mini part time gig washing dishes, which is wonderful, cleansing, cyclic, Zen style work. Dirty comes in, clean goes out to get dirty again, dirty comes in, clean goes out, etcetera, and onward toward infinity. With the added benefit of listening to requisite dishwasher 60’s and 70’s classic rock and disco soundtrack.
Coming up next is a post about depression and the things I do to live with it (on bad days) or steps I take to beat it off (good days) when I have the energy and foresight to beat a slump before it hits full force.
For anybody who has been following these posts (you are a quiet group, so not entirely sure you exist) thanks for your views, please send comments. Baring more dream journals, is there anything else you would like to hear about here? I am an open book. Would you like more film reviews? Shall I share my ultimate dishwasher playlist?
For anyone else, please take some time to peruse my backlog of material. Laugh, cry, get mad and let me know because my self confidence could use the boost.