There is some mysterious, hidden technology that allows my wife Cat, Meredith H. and I to climb and crawl about on ceilings. Somehow this is connected with the ability of the soundtrack the planets by Gustav Holst specifically the Mars, the bringer of war track, to synch up with our furniture (which is bouncing to the strings and drums).
We are doing these ceiling maneuvers in a series of old gothic mansions.
We are looking for something specific.
In a particular house, where I have been before, I help the girls out by pointing out where some of the critter nests are, and the mouse traps, so they don’t set them off.
There is a lot of cobwebs, with dead spiders and dust bunnies.
There was that time when Vyvyan Basterd (as played by Adrian Edmondson) from the BBC television show The Young Ones hung out with Oscar the grouch from Sesame Street. It quickly turns into a contest who was a bigger bastard.
Oscar wins. It is not even close.
I have been given the task of adapting the children’s book bestseller “Everyone Poops” by Taro Gomi for the big screen. Studio mandates include “it must score a “G” rating while also staying true to the source material” (Author is also an executive producer).
Hugh Jackman expresses great interest in being cast as the “Poo Professor”, the as yet unwritten adult role of the man who is obsessed with everything fecal from every possible source.
Embed from Getty Images Hugh Jackman is the Poo Professor
There is much anxiety on my part as I try to figure out if I can make the poop metaphorical (or otherwise invisible) without losing the theme of the source material.
Hugh calls me, asks me to work at least one song and dance number.
Author and studio also insist “The title stays!”